ROSH HASHANAH MORNING 5767, DERASHA

HANNAH’S SECRET DIARY

RABBI ERIC POLOKOFF, B’NAI ISRAEL OF SOUTHBURY

THE REV. WILLIAM SLOANE COFFIN WROTE: “A MAN CAN NO MORE SEE HIMSELF THAN HE CAN LOOK BACKWARD WITHOUT TURNING AROUND.” I DISAGREE. I DON’T THINK WE LACK DISCERNMENT. TODAY’S HARD ACTIVITY OF CHESHBON HANEFESH, AN ‘ACCOUNTING OF THE SOUL,’ IS ITSELF PREDICATED UPON HUMAN AWARENESS, ON HUMAN COGNITION. MOREOVER, FROM A JEWISH VANTAGE, WE CAN’T REALLY SEE OURSELVES UNLESS WE LOOK BACK. SO TO JEWISHLY RECAST SLOANE COFFIN, WE’LL LOOK BACKWARD AND FORWARD, AND PERHAPS TURN IN TESHUVA, REPENTANCE.

FOR JEWS SUCH A PROCESS INVARIABLY INVOLVES CONSIDERING OUR HOLY WRITINGS – AND WITH THAT COMES A RABBINICAL CONUNDRUM. FOR WHILE OUR VERY JEWISH LIFE SPRINGS FROM THOSE SACRED TEXTS, IN PRACTICE FEW STATEMENTS INVITE MORE DISINTEREST, OR SEEM MORE DEADLY, THAN OPENINGS SUCH AS “OUR HAFTARAH IS ABOUT...” ONE YEAR A RELATIVE, TRYING TO BE HELPFUL, POINTEDLY ADVISED: “ERIC, HAVE YOU CONSIDERED SHOWING PICTURES ON POWER POINT INSTEAD? THAT BIBLE STUFF IS JUST SO BORING.”

ADMITTEDLY, TODAY’S TASK MAY BE DAUNTING. FOR ON THIS ROSH HASHANAH 5767, HAVING PRESENTED LAST NIGHTTHE PRIVATE MUSINGS OF LAILA, A FICTITIOUS CONGREGANT, THIS MORNING I DO WANT TO DISCUSS ANOTHER LITERARY FIGURE, ALBEIT A WELL-KNOWN ONE, HANNAH, FROM OUR HAFTARAH, FROM THE BOOK OF SAMUEL. INDEED, FOR ARCHEOLOGISTS RECENTLY DISCOVERED HANNAH’S ORIGINAL SECRET DIARY ON OUR OWN SYNAGOGUE’S COMPUTER – WHAT WERE THE CHANCES OF THAT? – AND I’VE TRANSLATED THE ENTRIES.

CAN I READ THEM WITHOUT EVERYONE’S EYES GLAZING OVER? NOT SURE. BUT I DO KNOW THAT IN A SEA OF SECULARISM THIS PLACE MUST BE AN ISLAND OF LEARNING; AND IN A WORLD WHERE WE OFTEN DON’T FIND JEWS, WE IGNORE TODAY’S NARRATIVE AT OUR OWN COLLECTIVE PERIL.

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1060 BCE OR THURSDAY, TU B’AV, 2701.

DEAR DIARY,

TODAY IS THE WORST DAY OF MY LIFE, THE VERY WORST. ELKANAH HAS TAKEN PENINAH AS A SECOND WIFE. HE SAYS THEIR RELATIONSHIP IS NOT LIKE OURS, BUT AFTER 10 CHILDLESS YEARS HE NEEDS HEIRS. WHAT CAN I SAY? EVEN GOD HAS BEEN DEAF TO MY PLEAS. BUT I MUST BE BRAVE. PERHAPS THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS.

1058 BCE OR ROSH HASHANAH 2703

DEAR DIARY,

TWO CHILDREN IN TWO YEARS. THIS WOMAN’S BIOLOGICAL SUNDIAL KNOWS NO SHADE. MEANWHILE, THE MANDRAKES GAVE ME INDIGESTION, THE SPICED WINE PUT ME TO SLEEP. I BELIEVE IN LIGHT, EVEN WHEN IT DOESN’T SHINE. AND I BELIEVE IN GOD. WHY DOESN’T GOD HAVE PITY ON THIS MAIDSERVANT?

ROSH HASHANAH 2708

DEAR DIARY,

PEN HAS EIGHT SONS, ME NONE. SHE’S BECOME TOTALLY UNBEARABLE, MEAN AND HAUGHTY. SHE TOLD ME THEY’RE GOING FOR THE FULL MINYAN. THE CHILDREN GRUMBLE WHILE ELKANAH SERVES ME FIRST. I’M INCREASINGLY OUTNUMBERED, DISTRESSED, AND ALONE. ELKANAH NOW SAYS I’M TOO UPTIGHT. AND HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE THE GREATEST TZADDIK OF THIS ENTIRE GENERATION! I THINK HE THINKS IT’S NOT WORTH TRYING ANYMORE.

EREV ROSH HASHANAH 2710

DEAR DIARY,

THAT PENINAH’S SOME PEARL! SHE DID IT, 10 SONS! AND SHE’S AS CRUEL AS SHE IS FERTILE. I TOTALLY LOST IT THIS EVENING. I WASN’T EVEN ABLE TO EAT. ELKANAH PUMPED ME WITH QUESTIONS, LIKE THE ONES APPEARING ON PAGE 131, END OF THE TOP PARAGRAPH: “HANNAH, WHY ARE YOU CRYING? WHY DON’T YOU EAT? WHY ARE YOU SO UNHAPPY?” AS IF IT WASN’T OBVIOUS!? DOESN’T HE KNOW THE ANSWER!?

THEN, DIARY, WAS THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE. HE ASKED: HALO ANOCHI TOV LACH MAE-ASARAH BANIM, “AM I NOT BETTER TO YOU THAN TEN SONS?” I WAS SPEECHLESS AND DIDN’T RESPOND. WHAT WAS HE PROPOSING? THAT I SHOULD RUN AROUND SINGING “DON’T WORRY, BE HAPPY?” THAT THE STATUS QUO IS GOOD ENOUGH? WELL, MAYBE IT IS FOR HIM.

DIARY, MAYBE I’M TOO HARSH? ELKANAH IS REALISTIC. AFTER ALL, WHAT WOULD A CHILD NOW REALLY CHANGE? PENINAH AND HER KIDS WOULD STILL BE WITH US. SO I GUESS ELKANAH IS ROMANTIC, HE’S TELLING ME HE TRULY LOVES ME – AND IF THAT ISN’T ENOUGH, WHAT IS? YOU KNOW, DIARY, IF AT SOME POINT YEARS FROM NOW A WISE RABBI WERE TO CONSIDER ELKANAH’S STATEMENT, SOMEONE WITH A NAME LIKE GERSONIDES, I BET HE’D TAKE ELKANAH’S SIDE, CONCLUDING THAT ELKANAH’S QUESTION WAS A STATEMENT OF GREAT LOVE: LAROV AHAVTI OTACH BUT DIARY, AND ELKANAH, AND GERSONIDES, WHY DO I FEEL LO DAYEINU – IT ISN’T ENOUGH.

ROSH HASHANAH DAY 2 2710

DEAR DIARY,

I COULDN’T ANSWER ELKANAH AND INSTEAD WENT STRAIGHT TO THE TOP – POURING OUT MY HEART TO GOD. BUT AS WITH MY EXCHANGE WITH ELKANAH, I COULDN’T ACTUALLY FORM WORDS. ELI THE PRIEST CHASTISED ME, BUT LATER OFFERED WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT. AFTERWARDS I WAS EVEN ABLE TO EAT AND DIARY, ELKANAH SPENT LAST NIGHT IN MY TENT.

SHMINI ATZERET 2710

DEAR DIARY,

WONDER OF WONDERS… I’M PREGNANT! BUT THERE’S ANOTHER SURPRISE IN STORE FOR ELKANAH. SINCE GOD LISTENED TO ME (SHAMU-EL), I HAVE DECIDED TO DEVOTE MY CHILD TO GOD. IT’S NOT THAT I DON’T WANT TO BE A MOTHER – JUST THE OPPOSITE, I WANT TO BE A MOTHER MORE THAN ANYTHING. YET MY LONG STRUGGLE WAS NEVER JUST A BIOLOGICAL IMPERATIVE, ABOUT WANTING TO NURTURE OR SECURING MY STATUS IN OLD AGE. WHAT I’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO IS TO GIVE – TO GIVE LIFE, TO GIVE OPPORTUNITY.

ROSH HASHANAH 2712

DEAR DIARY

AS SAMUEL IS ABOUT TO BE WEANED I TOLD ELKANAH WHAT I WANTED.HE IS THE QUINTESSENTIAL JEWISH HUSBAND. HE REPLIED: “YES DEAR, ASI HATOV B’EINAYICH – “DO WHAT IS GOOD IN YOUR EYES. YES DEAR, WHATEVER YOU’D LIKE.” IT WILL SOON BE BACK TO FAMILY GATHERINGS SUFFERING PENINAH AND HER BROOD ALONE. NO MATTER, THEY’LL BE NO TEARS. SOUND THE SHOFAR – I’VE BEEN TRANSFORMED. AS I TOLD GOD, “I’M LIKE A BARREN WOMAN WHO BEARS SEVEN.”

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SO ENDED HANNAH’S DIARY, OUTSIDE OF A FEW ENTRIES ABOUT THE MERITS OF CHALDEAN LAYETTE. SOME MIGHT DISMISS HANNAH’S PREDICAMENT AS A POLYGAMOUS TRIANGLE EVEN MORE COMPLICATED THAN ‘BIG LOVE’ ON HBO. YET ITS MESSAGES AND RESONANCES ARE NUMEROUS. FOR LIKE HANNAH, WE TOO GO TO TEMPLE ON ROSH HASHANAH. WITH OUR OWN HOPES AND UNRESOLVED ISSUES, WE TOO FACE THE EXISTENTIAL ABYSS. WHAT MADE HANNAH SO PRECIOUS – TO ELKANAH, TO GOD, TO THE AGES – WAS HER TENACITY, HER INSIGHT, HER GENEROSITY. LIVING WITH PAIN AND DISAPPOINTMENT HANNAH NEVER GAVE UP ON ELKANAH, HERSELF OR ON GOD. MOREOVER, SHE APPRECIATED THAT A PEOPLE OF FAITH NEED INSPIRATIONAL, FAITHFUL GUIDES. SO AFTER 2 DECADES OF CHILDLESSNESS, HANNAH WAS READY TO GIVE UP HER BABY, SHARING HER GREATEST TREASURE, HER SON, WITH ISRAEL. IN CHOOSING TO NOT RAISE HER OWN CHILD, IN DEPOSITING SAMUEL AT ELI THE PRIEST’S DOORSTEP, SHE BEQUEATHED A PARENTAL SACRIFICE EVERY BIT AS THOUGHTFUL AS ABRAHAM’S.

WHY DID HANNAH DO THIS? FOR THE VERY SAME REASON OTHERS GIVE; A DESIRE, A WILL TO FORGE A BETTER LIFE FOR OTHERS, A HOPE IN GOODNESS. AS JEWS AND THEIR DEAR-ONES, WE RECOGNIZE THIS THEME AS TIMELESS AND AS TIMELY, AS FITTING FOR OUR DISTINCT AGE, AND OUR SPECIAL CIRCUMSTANCE.

THIS POINT WAS DRIVEN HOME FOR ME IN AN UNLIKELY VENUE A RECENT NEW YORK TIMES REPORT ABOUT ANOTHER ANCIENT FAITH COMMUNITY, THE ZOROASTRIANS. ONCE A RELIGION OF MILLIONS, ZOROASTRIANISM IS NOW NEARLY EXTINCT. DISAPPEARING INTO THEIR ADOPTED CULTURES, A MERE 125,000 ADHERENTS REMAIN. AND THE FUTURE DOESN’T AUGUR WELL AS THE TIMES ARTICLE OBSERVED: “SINCE THE FAITH ENCOURAGES OPPORTUNITIES FOR WOMEN, MANY ZOROASTRIAN WOMEN ARE WORKING PROFESSIONALS WHO, LIKE MANY OTHER PROFESSIONAL WOMEN, HAVE FEW CHILDREN OR NONE.” IT ALL SOUNDED EERILY, CHILLINGLY FAMILIAR.

WE JEWS, OF COURSE, ARE 14 MILLION IN A GLOBAL POPULATION OF 6.5 BILLION. BUT OUR NUMBERS ARE ALSO DECLINING, BOTH IN REAL AND ACTUAL TERMS. SUBSTANTIVE DIFFERENCES SEPARATE US FROM ZOROASTRIANISM, BUT THE PRECARIOUSNESS OF A RELIGION AS OLD AS HANNAH REMINDS US THAT THERE ARE FEW GUARANTEES, AS WELL AS THE FACT THAT HERE IN SOUTHBURY, WE JUST DON’T HAVE MANY PENINAHS.

STILL, IT WAS HANNAH, WITH HER RESOLUTION AND DEDICATION, WHOM OUR HAFTARAH HOLDS AS THE ROLE-MODEL. FOR WITH FAITH AND SINCERITY, WITH PERSEVERENCE AND SACRIFICE, SHE WILLED CHANGE. WHAT, REALISTICALLY, CAN WE DO? WHAT CAN WE GIVE? HAPPILY, FIRSTBORNS ARE NO LONGER DEMANDED – NOR ARE FIRSTBORNS ACCEPTED, AT LEAST IN THIS TEMPLE. OUR REQUESTS ARE MORE MODEST – YET NONETHELESS SIGNIFICANT.

WE ASK FOR SUSTAINED ENERGY ON BEHALF OF THE SYNAGOGUE, THIS INSTITUTION. WE ASK FOR VOLUNTEERISM, PARTICIPATION ON COMMITTEES, ATTENDANCE AT WORSHIP SERVICES, SINGING AND TEACHING AND ACTS OF CARING AND OF TIKKUN OLAM, SOCIAL JUSTICE. WE SEEK THE EXISTENTIAL GIFT OF PARTNERSHIP IN CREATING COMMUNITY. AND WE ALSO ASK FOR MONETARY SUPPORT, SUSTAINING THE SYNAGOGUE THROUGH DUES AND CONTRIBUTIONS TO OUR VARIOUS APPEALS.

AS HANNAH HERSELF UNDERSTOOD, ROSH HASHANAH, JUDGMENT DAY, DEMANDS CANDOR. LOVERS OF JUDAISM, WITH ITS UNIQUE INTERPRETATIONS AND POIGNANT MESSAGES, WE MUST CONCEDE LO DAYEINU, THAT ALL THE GOOD WE DO STILL MIGHT NOT BE ENOUGH. EVEN MORE MIGHT BE NECESSARY TO TRULY BUTTRESS THIS CONGREGATION FOR THE SHANIM, THE YEARS TO FOLLOW. YOUR LEADERSHIP AND I’VE GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT. A NEW PRIORITY MUST BE OUR B’NAI ISRAEL ENDOWMENT.

OF ALL THINGS, WHY THAT? BECAUSE HERE IN AMERICA THE BACKBONE OF THE SYNAGOGUE FUNDING HAS LONG BEEN MEMBERSHIP DUES. BUT THERE ARE PROFOUND DEMOGRAPHIC CHANGES AFOOT. AND THEY SUGGEST A DIMINISHED JEWISH POPULATION IN THE YEARS AHEAD. CONSIDER THESE EMERGING CHALLENGES: AN AGING POPULATION, ZERO POPULATION GROWTH, INTERMARRIAGE, A DROP-OFF IN THE BABYBOOMLET. WE ARE WHOLE TODAY BUT WILL THIS SAME MODEL WORK A DECADE OR TWO FROM NOW? THE NEXT GENERATION OF JEWS AND THEIR DEAR-ONES WILL ASSUREDLY INHERIT A WARM, NURTURING AND OPEN COMMUNITY. YET UNLESS THERE’S A MIRACULOUS RISE IN THE BIRTH RATE OR MASS CONVERSIONS AMERICAN JEWRY WILL BE PROPORTIONALLY SMALLER – SMALLER – THAN ANYTHING WE’VE SEEN IN OVER A CENTURY. IN 1900, THERE WERE ABOUT A MILLIONS JEWS IN A U.S. POPULATION OF 76 MILLION; IN 1940, ABOUT 5 MILLION IN A POPULATION OF 132 MILLION; AT PRESENT, THERE ARE LESS THAN 6 MILLION JEWS AMONGST 300 MILLION AMERICANS. OF ADDITIONAL CONCERN: THE SYNAGOGUE IN THE FUTURE WILL LIKELY FACE A SECOND WELL-DOCUMENTED CHALLENGE: RISING GLOBAL ANTI-SEMITISM. BUT THIS ANTICIPATED ONE, TWO PUNCH, NEED NOT KNOCK US DOWN. IF WE ARE WISE AND SINCERE AND CAPABLE, WE CAN PLAN ACCORDINGLY. FOR JUST AS JEWS OF GENERATIONS PAST PLANTED FOR US, WE CAN PLANT FOR THE NEXT GENERATION, FOR OUR CHILDREN, OUR GRANDCHILDREN, AND ALL WHOM MIGHT EMBRACE JUDAISM. WE OWE THEM THIS TRUST.

I KNOW. SERMONIC APPEALS FOR FUNDING ARE EVEN MORE LETHAL THAN A BIBLICAL NARRATIVE. I KNOW, TOO, HOW OUR MEMBERS ALREADY CARRY CONSIDERABLE FINANCIAL BURDENS. QUITE JUSTIFIABLY, MANY WILL WANT TO ECHO ELKANAH 3,057 YEARS AGO, REPLYING: “LOOK, SEE WHAT WE’VE BUILT. SEE WHAT WE SUSTAIN. HAS NOT THIS FACILITY BEEN DEARER TO US THAN TEN OTHER INSITUTIONS? HASN’T OUR DEVOTION ALREADY PROVEN ITSELF?”

BUT THAT’S JUST IT. THE SPARK OF HANNAH BURNS WITHIN US TOO; WE TOO, WANT TO GIVE LIFE AND PROVIDE GUIDANCE AND OPPORTUNITY. OUR PAST IS SIMPLY TOO PRECIOUS, AND WE CANNOT INGORE THE FUTURE. AND WE APPRECIATE, NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO WEAN THE NEXT GENERATION – THEY MEAN TOO MUCH TO US. FOR WITHOUT THE MOTHER’S MILK OF JEWISH RELIGIOSITY – THE LEGACIES OF HANNAH AND ELKANAH, ABRAHAM AND ISAAC, AND OF HUNDREDS OF JEWS AND THEIR DEAR-ONES WHO MEET IN SOUTHBURY –BECOME IMPERILED.

SO AT THIS TIME OF RENEWAL, LET US DETERMINE TO CONTRIBUTE, HOWEVER WE CAN AND WHEREVER WE CAN, TO THE VITALITY OF THIS HOLY CONGREGATION. OVER THE COMING YEAR, LET US THINK BEYOND THE STATUS QUO, INITIATING CONVERSATIONS THAT WOULD ENCOURAGE ESTATE PLANNING AND EXPANDING OUR B’NAI ISRAEL ENDOWMENT FUND. IN STRENGTHENING COMMUNITY, IN ENVISIONING PROGRAMS AND ACTIVITIES THAT WILL SPEAK TO OUR HEARTS – FROM FACILITATING TRANSPORTATION TO GREATER ISRAEL ADVOCACY, TO TEXTUAL LITERACY. AND IN ALL OF THIS KNOW THAT WE WILL WORK IN FRIENDSHIP WITH THE JEWISH FEDERATION, AN ORGANIZATION THAT SHARES OUR HOPES AND BLESSES OUR EFFORTS.

ON ROSH HASHANAH 5767, LOOKING FORWARD AND BACKWARD, ENCOUNTERING A SACRED PAST, SACRED DESTINY, AND SACRED TEXTS, WITHOUT FICTION OR HOKUM, WITHOUT ARTIFICE OR RECOURSE TO PRIVATE DIARIES MAY WE DISCOVER THAT OUR AUTHENTIC SELVES CAN ALSO BE OUR BEST SELVES.

CAIN YEHI RATZON. BE THIS GOD’S WILL.